March 01, 2004

Conjoined Fetus Lady

So, I took my friend LaLa out to celebrate her birthday today. I always try to talk her into crazy escapades, but she always assures me that I would be the only one to get away with it, so we never engage in any escapades. *sigh* Today I wanted to pretend we were newly wed lesbians, but she wasn't all the way on board. I am also trying to get a slightly offensive nickname...like mattress-back Michelle...only my name isn't Michelle, so that won't work...but something with equal amounts alliteration that wouldn't quite be suitable for my stripper name. If anyone has an idea, that would be swell.

Later, we discussed the weight we've lost. We made a pact a while back that when we hit our goal weights we would go get our belly buttons pierced....because then we won't have to pry the rings out from fat rolls to show them off...and really, who wants to look at fat rolls anyway? Anyway, i again lamented that I am not entirely sure that I can get my belly button pierced. You see, I don't have an ordinary belly button. It's not quite an outie, not quite an innie...and it looks just like....an eye. In fact, I've been told I should send a picture in to CBS to see if I can get work as their logo. Once, at the renaissance festival, I had a body painter guy paint my tummy. i told him to paint something cool and swirly. He painted it to look like an eyeball with wings.

so, back to the piercing. I have often thought that it would be cool, because it would be like an eyebrow piercing and belly button piercing all in one. So, I've decided that when I go in, I will ask the piercing guy (it could be a piercing lady, but I refer to everything as him, so it's more habit than trying to be purposely exclusive) if he can pierce my twin sister's eyebrow. I will then lift up my shirt and explain that i was supposed to be twins, but she never fully developed, so all that's left is her eye...and I just know that she would want it pierced.

I'm going to practice my story, so that I'm ready. Hopefully it wasn't just the flourescent lights of the parking ramp that made it amusing.

Posted by raven at March 1, 2004 11:25 PM
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