April 26, 2004

I'm ba-ack

Wow...that was a long time, wasn't it? I mean, including the getting ready, the getting turned around, figuring out where the hell I was going, the trying not to let my anxiety attack turn into a full out panic attack because of the not knowing where I was going, the audition, the getting home, feeding the cats, changing...

Right...not so much time. They were looking for a short audition, and they had me do the piece twice, differently, then I was on my way. I do not yet know whether that means good, or bad.

I never liked auditions, but I used to actually be a good actor. Now, I suck. This is probably due to my hiatus, that I am trying to break, without success. You know, practice making perfect and all. And, of course, on the way home, I thought of all sorts of ways I could have made my reading better. Yeah, that was real helpful. So, due to my total lack of practice, and my possible decline in ability, I am not having a whole lotta confidence right now.

Although, at least I don't feel like a fat-fattie anymore. That does help. One less thing... I was thinking about it as we were partying on Saturday. I actually thought I looked darn good...not toned yet, but good. Compared to pre South Beach, when I didn't even want to leave the house due to my size. Part of that would have to do with the fact that none of my clothes fit, and I wore my yoga pants out too many times, because at least they stretched. If only I could have worn my pajama pants out more, that would have expanded my wardrobe. Being very small-framed, my body doesn't like extra weight. My joints were not happy, and my bones just don't have the room for extra beef. Not to mention the fact that I was on the verge of shopping the plus sizes. It is really hard to get excited about shopping at Lane Bryant. Fortunately they have cute clothes, and I was trying to tell myself that I could still be stylish, while my thighs were in danger of rug burn, and my arms would keep waving long after I had stopped. On my resume, I tried to figure out how much I could lie about my weight before they would catch on. Not fun. Although, I still am not sure how to take it when friends tell me they couldn't tell I had put on weight.

Anwyay, I am so glad I got motivated. Now that I can actually get in to most of my clothes again, I don't dread this sort of thing quite so much. It is nice not to get winded going up a single flight of stairs, or have my legs feel like jello after. Also, I looked at my head shot, and I seriously need a new one. My face was so round in my old one...it doesn't look like me. Maybe a relative, but not me.

Now, I just need to get my acting tuned up, and I may just have something.

Posted by raven at April 26, 2004 08:43 PM
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