May 24, 2006

ATTENTION ALL LADIES (and gents too): PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Please read the following, as this is an important warning meant to protect your relationship.

I recently discovered that I have an agenda. That agenda is to get your boyfriend/fiance/husband/random guy in bed with me. Yes, you have now read it on the internet, so it must be true. Take all necessary measures to show how SECURE you are with yourself and your relationship, and how much you TRUST your guy. Ultimatums work wonders. Tell him it's you or me, and he must choose. IF you are the guy, stop speaking to me and don't tell me why. This is especially good to do if you've only met me once, maybe twice, and know nothing about me. It shows you have conviction and will believe anything, without getting any confirmation. Guys, this shows you are also secure in your relationship, and proves you have huge, giant balls.

Once you have your relationship secured, start telling everyone you can what a mantrap I am. Warn them to stay away from me, no matter how crazy they might say you are. Nevermind that am happily married to an awesome guy, and we trust each, and are in love. I'm still after YOUR guy!

Can you tell that someone is doing this to me?? I found out last night when I went over to see what was up with my formerly best friend. Apparently, after the drama of early March, his BSC girlfriend said I had an agenda, which was to get him to have sex with me. Of course, she also thought we were making out on the sofa, and was trying to say that G said that he was disgusted by our behavior. (guess what? We weren't! Guesss what else? He didn't!) Fortunately (?) he stood up for me. However, one of our other friends and his girlfriend (who I will refer to as Miss U) were there, said girlfriend (who I thought was cool) took the side of BSC girlfriend or something, and now was also saying I had an agenda. She then gave my friend an ultimatum, that he could either be my friend or be her boyfriend. Well, I think he realized he was not getting into my pants...ever, since he apparently chose her. This explains why he hasn't spoken to me since March, and why he didn't RSVP for Geoff's birthday party (which makes him look like an even bigger dumbass). The guy I was talking to last night said that when he called Miss U to tell her he broke up with her now good friend, BSC girlfriend, because he didn't want her to hate him, she offered him the unsolicited advice to stay away from me, because I had an agenda. He told her I wasn't a threat, and she went on about her ultimatum.

So, here I'm thinking Miss U is a cute girl with a boyfriend who is crazy about her, she might be a little secure (I now know that BSC girlfriend had every reason to be insecure, part of which was her own fault, the rest of which was his, but that's a whole other barrel of monkeys...). I also thought she was a cool person, and an adult. Silly me, I thought that making up shit about people, and giving people such ultimatums only happened in Junior high (well, I'll be fair, probably high school, too). But, I was wrong. I also thought that Mr. M and I were friends...not best friends, but at least reasonable friends who could talk about stuff, and hang out. However, he didn't even have the courtesy to tell me what people were saying, and that people were inexplicably turning against me, find out the truth, I don't know, anything an adult might do.

I guess at least now I know. This means I can get rid of that negative energy and baggage, and steer clear.

But, for the record, you have been warned: I am a THREAT!!

Posted by raven at May 24, 2006 04:07 PM
Comments
Post a comment

Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)


Remember me?