July 25, 2006

there i am. there i am. there i am.

Sigh. I realize it's been at least a decade since I posted last, and I've had much to write, I just haven't been up to it. When I've had time, and even been at the computer, I find a way to procrastinate.

Part of it was the whole ending the friendship thing. I still miss the guy. G still loathes the guy for being such an ass to me (the total assitude of the situation has been shielded from the blog, because I prefer it not be a matter of public record, although part of me wants to see how much it would screw up his life if it were a matter of public record...however, I'm trying to remember what a harsh mistress Karma can be). I'm trying to wrap up mourning the loss of something that I never really had. There's a part of me that wants to touch base with him, to see if he's gotten the help he needs, or if he even realizes the horrible, horrible things he's done to so many people. I know in my heart that I would just be disappointed.

In the meantime, I made a trip to my beloved Ground Zero, which was unable to provide its usual magical healing power. I was a little worried about myself, since GZ is usually a magical cure all. Somehow, walking into a Goth club, with the music and the people and the energy is typically enough to wash away whatever ails me. I've had several down jags, but continue to push through.

I finished my show (to try to keep the length of this one manageable, I shall save it for another post, which like that one, will be linked through out the rest of this post, to make it more manageable). It was good, but a lot of work. This was made harder by the drama in my personal life. I regret that I wasn't able to give the performance my full undivided attention, but what can ya do? I still managed to do a fair chunk of research and character work, and pull off what I feel was a darn good performance. I had asked the director at one point what the expectations of us were as far as load in and strike, and was told that there were none. So, we made plans to go to GZ for a friend's birthday (I'll be honest, it was for us too). As it turned out, we did need to strike, but found out the day before. I talked to the director, and he understood. So I got into my gear (which forced me to break my rule of not greeting the audience in my costume, as I didn't think Bloomington was ready for black xes over my nips), and we headed to the club. This time, the magical powers were there. The music was great, all my requests were played, there was fun with friends, and there was post dancing food to be had. (many thanks to the seamster for spotting our freakishly broke asses with some eats). One of my favorite moments was when this guy, who has an inherent coolness that I've always admired, and who once told me i was one of his favorite dancers to watch, leaned over to me during a song transition and said, "We're missing Nine Inch Nails in Chicago right now. We really should've planned better." Just one of those random interactions that further imbeds my love of the Goth club. MissStage's birthday seemed to go well for her. Her friends paid for her to get some action from Mistress Jean. I admire her for getting up there, considering what's stopping me is a pasty ass with some medium curd going on. (Is there such a thing in the cottage cheese family? I know there's small curd, large curd, but neither of those seems to apply.)

My sister arrived in town the next day. She's still here, but not for much longer. I'm trying not to think about them leaving, since I will miss those kids of hers like cah-razy. It seems that every time I see them, they are different people. They were babies, and they are getting too grown up for me. As they grow up, I get older. I don't mind getting older; it's just that I mind the lack of accomplishment in my life that goes with it.

That Monday, after having lunch with G, I finally got my nose pierced! It really doesn't hurt much to have done. It seems to be healing nicely, and the plasma oozing out of it has lessened. Most people seem to like it. The owner of my place of part-time employment freaked when he saw me, and said that his wife would make me wear a clear one when working. I saw her four times throughout that day, and she never said a word. Turns out, she didn't even notice. She said since she didn't notice it, it must be fine. He was left speechless. At my place of full-time employment, it's been getting raves. However, I'm now getting bugged to do crazy hair colors again...so I'm working on that.

The following weekend meant CONvergence. After years of the Seamster bugging us about going, we finally did. G was heading up the LAN room there, which due to lots of people flaking out on him, meant he missed the bulk of the actual convention. Bah.

Our Monday night tradition seems to have been sidelined. Due to a problem with management keeping personal and professional lives separate, the emcee who is the only reason we karaoke on Mondays has been let go. We may give it a try now and then, but it's just not the same. I'm thinking we will have to try to get to Hard Mondays more often...which I already know that the seamster and DJ Nitrogen will be happy about.

We made another GZ attempt the week after CON. It was incredibly hot. Alliecat and I donned new outfits. I was positive she was going to be beating people off with a stick she looked so fantastic. I had to try not to be jealous, since she was wearing a dress purchased for me. It turned out to be seriously mismarked, since I bought it in my usual Lip Service size, and it is tight on her. She is 2-3 sizes smaller than I am. I wore a new outfit, but felt sort of sausagey. I still wound up having multiple compliments paid. There were some friends there, which was nice. The evening ended with us heading out for food...and lots of conversation. Good times. i would have enjoyed it more if I wasn't getting sick to my stomach from the heat. I couldn't dance much at a time, so we spent the bulk of the evening huddled under an AC vent.

This last weekend made up for that. It was a pleasant temperature. I wore a new outfit. One piece picked up for me by G, the other by myself. It was the first time I wore pants there. Rather than a dress, skirt or hot pants, I mean. It was weird. I was at work, thinking it has been eons since we have seen either Raneman or his girl. I was missing them, and realized I should call or e-mail them. We got to GZ, and I turn around and a guy is giving G a huge hug. It was Raneman! They were there, which was awesome...it was so great to see them. We danced like crazy. Great music, great vibe. It also wound up being a cheap night for us. We got there in the nick of time to get in for free with the guest list we were on and I just chugged water all night. It was a fun time.

Friday we checked out Bodyworlds at the Science museum. AMAZING. I spent just over four hours in the exhibit. Definitely worth the price of admission. It was simply fascinating. A lot of it was just plain hard to fathom, and I learned a lot.

Today was a day off. I meant to get a shit ton of stuff done, but that fell to the wayside. I got a headache, and came home to lie on the couch, and wound up snoozing for far longer than intended. Of course, due to ridiculous storms, I wouldn't have been able to do the yard work I was going to anyway. Bah.

And now, I am caught up. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Hopefully, I will be with it enough now to stay caught up.

Posted by raven at July 25, 2006 11:45 AM
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