February 09, 2008

so, it is a myth after all

So, we just returned from our foray to Maplewood to see my stocking stuffer from Santa.

To be fair, Mr. Manson and friends were amazing, as usual. He is so glam, and such a performer, he truly is suited for live shows. It is pretty much a theatrical experience seeing him.

That being said, seeing him in a theater space is ideal, followed closely by an arena.

What he is not suited for? A too-small club with an incompetent security staff. Seriously. I felt like we were at the Quest on steroids. And we all know what happened to the Quest. (and if you don't know, it was shut down, the space purchased, completely redesigned, and reopened in a much more pleasing manner).

Here are some tips should you decide to open a nighclub or already are running a nightclub, and decide you want to also have the occasional rock show:

Just because you can cram that many people in the space, doesn't mean you should.

There are crazy things called fire codes. They exist for a reason.

When you have stairs that connect floors, sometimes people actually want to use them to climb to the upper floor, or descend to the lower floor. If they are completely packed with immobile people, it negates their purpose. Trust me, the bouncers aren't being dicks at First Avenue when they are manning the top and bottomw of every stairwell to keep traffic moving. They are being what is called "prepared."

Your bartending staff is there to serve drinks. Whilst it is perfectly acceptable for them to have a good time on the job, maybe they should be paying enough attention so that if people are frantically waving cash at them to get their attention, and thus a drink, the bartender could actually be bothered to make them a drink. That incoming money provides them with what we call a paycheck. I don't know about anyone else, but the work I do at a for-profit establishment sure as hell isn't on a volunteer basis.

When hiring an architect, maybe hire one that knows how to design a nightclub/concert venue. Then, pull your head out of your ass to correctly assign activities to the space created by said architect. A ten foot wide aisle that you are expecting to be a coatcheck line and a major exit aisle...not the best idea.

Remember that the general public is dumb. Of the portion that is not dumb, a large percentage is just plain inconsiderate. This is why we hire bouncers. They remind people how to act in public, and control large crowds. Velvet ropes can often serve a similar function, as can barricades.

Now, some reminders for the general public:

If you want to spend over $50 on tickets to a show, then get so wasted you won't remember any of the night, that is your right. However, if you are so drunk you are infringing on others enjoyment of the show, you have crossed a line.

Clothing comes in a full range of sizes. Please buy the correct size so that I don't have to look at the layering of panties, thong and ass crack you wind up displaying because your skirt cannot contain you. I don't care what size you are, or what size you want to be...last time I checked, it wasn't printed on the outside of your clothing unless you are on one of those Tyra Banks shows...so just buy your actual size.

Saying you're sorry does not make you less of an asshole. Not behaving like an asshole makes you less of an asshole.

I think that is all. In short, the Myth has been blacklisted from our concert venue list.


Posted by raven at February 9, 2008 12:42 AM
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