March 11, 2008

all stressed out...

....and somewhere to go.

Why is it that when it rains, it truly pours? I could handle a light sprinkle, maybe some scattered showers. However, for nearly the past week, it has been a monsoon in these parts, and I am more than ready for the clouds to part.

I had two auditions, and two callbacks last week. One casting so far...one I have no idea. I am pretty sure it will be thanks, but no thanks, but a call would be nice, since there weren't that many called back. The not knowing sucks, since I need to know how much schedule juggling I need to do.

In the work front, I am rapidly reaching maximum capacity. Last week, due to no fault of my own, I had to rewind on a project and take it back a couple of steps before continuing. We started back up on Monday...when at roughly 2:30 in the afternoon (my shift ends at 3:30), I was told to cease. It was decided to stop again, and do another (albeit minor) restructure of the department. Today, I got to cozy up with AutoCAD all day to figure it out. My eyes are all buggy now, and I have five areas that I am working on. I should have three. Last week's rewind set us back two weeks, and now with this modification, we will be another two weeks long. I am trying to be Zen, but it is hard.

Last week, I got a call from the 'rents. Not so unusual, except that this call was specifically to inform me that my grandfather (my last grandparent) was in the hospital, and not doing well. In the vein of keeping me posted, I got periodic updates. Things aren't looking good...he's doing better...he could go at any time. Finally, he was gone. Thus I've spent the last week trying to figure out if and when we would have to pack up and head outta town to bid our farewells. We've been watching airfares (out of our price range) and calculating our earliest possible arrival by car. Even once we got the news of his passing, I had to wait to hear about arrangements. Now there are arrangements, so it looks like we will be heading out tomorrow after work. I hate leaving the house such a mess, and have no idea what to pack. I feel guilty, because I've been wanting to travel and take a break. This is not how I expected it to occur. Not to mention that overall, I think I'm doing okay with it, but every so often a big wave of sadness washes over me. I don't know how I'll do come the actual funeral, when it will probably become real for me. My solace comes knowing that at least I saw him recently and spent his 98th birthday with him The sadness comes back when I realize that I assumed that we would also celebrate 99 and 100.

Now I am just rambling. I should go back to cleaning the kitchen. When I got the news, I scrubbed the bathroom. It made me focus on something, at least.

Oh well, perhaps the sun will peek through the clouds for me.

Posted by raven at March 11, 2008 10:00 PM
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