January 02, 2013

creaks and cobwebs

...hello? ...Hello? ...Anyone there?


Huh. It turns out you abandon a place and it goes to hell in a handbasket! This place is full of dust, cobwebs, creepy crawlies, that kid that was in Jerry Maguire. Somebody oughtta update this thing!

I've been realizing my priorities have run all amok. It wasn't helped by injury and whatever sleep malady has overcome me, but I am to blame, as well. I realized it as the previous year came to a close, so in the spirit of fresh starts and a year ending in my lucky number I figured I better get my butt in gear, as the kids say, and get going on that. I could call them resolutions, and I guess they are, but I feel like these are just some steps I'm gonna take to get myself back on track. Focusing on one month at a time for now, but keeping some of the bigger picture stuff in my head for the other months. One of those bigger picture things is giving this little blog and its mama site some love. I'd like to give the blog it's own home. It's growing up, and needs it's own space. I think that's part of why it's been like an angsty teen here. I know, and the blog knows, it needs to be it's own thing in order for it to really grow up and be what I want it to be. Keep your peepers here to see what happens as it moves into a new place and gets settled!

Some smaller picture things are focusing on me more. A little each day. I realized I have been throwing all of myself into work. That's good for my employer, but less good for me. My health has suffered, my home has suffered, my art has suffered (and by art, I just mean all the creative things I enjoy--sewing, painting, papering, designing, acting, etcetra-ing). I could be all crazy and say I'm going to run away and be an artist and live out of my car, but that's too much. Plus, I like things like running water and health insurance, and I think two adults, two cats, a hamster, and my wardrobe could not live together in our car, no matter how lovely of a car it may be. Besides, my job isn't terrible or anything, it's just that it's not all of me. It's a part. It's a part where I get to design things, inspire some people to make their living space all it can be, and work with some cool people. However, I don't get paid the big bucks. (Do the kids still say that? I'm so out of touch.) Meaning, that I'm not one of the bosses. There is certainly potential for that someday, but not right now. Even if I were one of the bosses, I should not be thinking about work in my free time, nor should I be losing sleep over it.

So, I'm gonna focus a little time each day on the areas of my life that need some love. Some healthy time (exercising--which I so want to spell exorcising & doing those boring things like drinking water and eating vegetables), creating (I have very many beads, fabrics, trims, papers, and more taking up very much space), making our amazing apartment amazing (the bones are there, we just need to trim the fat...so much fat), and getting our personal/social lives back on track. (I hear there are these things called clubs, where there is music and dancing. Mind. Blown.) I figure the latter will happen as the others fall into place. I figure if I start with at least ten minutes in each area every day, that's not so much that I will wind up flailing about on the floor, crying for another martini, but enough that I an make a dent in things. I can add time, and eventually things will be back in the black! I am also spending ten minutes a day writing. Something. Maybe in my journal, maybe on this blog. But something. I thought I could write a novel (not a good one, mind you, but one) and gave that a shot. After the third try at NaNoWriMo, I realized that a novel is not my thing. Anecdotes, essays, poems, those are my things. I figure maybe that promise I made to a professor roughly an eon ago should come true some day. (I'm not gonna tell you what it is until it does come true, so that's where you can pester me to tell you what it is, and I will in turn get it closer so that one day when you ask, I will tell you because it's a thing! And you can say you read this blog when it was a baby blog and stuck with it through those rough adolescent years until it developed into a beautiful swan. Not a butterfly, because those terrify me.)

So, I promise I will see you soon. In the meantime, feel free to make yourself comfortable. Brush off a chair, ignore the cobwebs, and find out what that kid from Jerry Maguire has been up to.

Posted by raven at January 2, 2013 07:38 PM
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