April 27, 2004

Scary...Very Scary...

Yesterday was a quiet one at work, so I did my usual NY times Crossword, read most of the paper (I never read sports, and rarely read business)...and then the guy came with the new issue of The Rake. I often enjoy reading it, but this month's cover article, while fascinating, made me cringe. Having a niece who will turn thirteen in a few months, and hearing about kids these days, and seeing them, I know that kids these days are scary. I thought I was just being paranoid, or that it was a sign of age, but, in fact, kids are getting scarier by the minute. What frightens me, is that companies lke Abercrombie and Fitch (who, along with Wal-mart and Starbucks, are evil embodied) perpetuate that little girls should be acting like "adults" by the time they hit their teens. Kids who (at least to me) are normal (like my niece) are looked at by their peers as being young for their age. Further, adults seem to be doing little to stop it, buying them make-up at counters where a tube of lipstick costs more than every cosmetic item I own, not getting involved in childrens lives, even allowing them to get plastic surgery in some cases.

It doesn't help that due to environmental factors (like obesity and food additives such as hormones) are causing kids to develop younger, which leads to them being sexually active, causing a whole host of problems. Hell, I know "adults" who are sexually active and have no business doing so, much less a child or teen.

The article really speaks for itself. As if I wasn't worried enough about having children (which will not happen for some time, knock on wood), the state of affairs in this world seem to be at a steady decline.

Posted by raven at 04:43 PM | Comments (0)

You like me...you really like me...

Imagine my surprise at being chosen blog of the day...

Dreams really do come true ;)

Posted by raven at 04:26 PM | Comments (1)

April 26, 2004

I'm ba-ack

Wow...that was a long time, wasn't it? I mean, including the getting ready, the getting turned around, figuring out where the hell I was going, the trying not to let my anxiety attack turn into a full out panic attack because of the not knowing where I was going, the audition, the getting home, feeding the cats, changing...

Right...not so much time. They were looking for a short audition, and they had me do the piece twice, differently, then I was on my way. I do not yet know whether that means good, or bad.

I never liked auditions, but I used to actually be a good actor. Now, I suck. This is probably due to my hiatus, that I am trying to break, without success. You know, practice making perfect and all. And, of course, on the way home, I thought of all sorts of ways I could have made my reading better. Yeah, that was real helpful. So, due to my total lack of practice, and my possible decline in ability, I am not having a whole lotta confidence right now.

Although, at least I don't feel like a fat-fattie anymore. That does help. One less thing... I was thinking about it as we were partying on Saturday. I actually thought I looked darn good...not toned yet, but good. Compared to pre South Beach, when I didn't even want to leave the house due to my size. Part of that would have to do with the fact that none of my clothes fit, and I wore my yoga pants out too many times, because at least they stretched. If only I could have worn my pajama pants out more, that would have expanded my wardrobe. Being very small-framed, my body doesn't like extra weight. My joints were not happy, and my bones just don't have the room for extra beef. Not to mention the fact that I was on the verge of shopping the plus sizes. It is really hard to get excited about shopping at Lane Bryant. Fortunately they have cute clothes, and I was trying to tell myself that I could still be stylish, while my thighs were in danger of rug burn, and my arms would keep waving long after I had stopped. On my resume, I tried to figure out how much I could lie about my weight before they would catch on. Not fun. Although, I still am not sure how to take it when friends tell me they couldn't tell I had put on weight.

Anwyay, I am so glad I got motivated. Now that I can actually get in to most of my clothes again, I don't dread this sort of thing quite so much. It is nice not to get winded going up a single flight of stairs, or have my legs feel like jello after. Also, I looked at my head shot, and I seriously need a new one. My face was so round in my old one...it doesn't look like me. Maybe a relative, but not me.

Now, I just need to get my acting tuned up, and I may just have something.

Posted by raven at 08:43 PM | Comments (0)

Just a little somthin', somthin'

I so want a nap. I so need a nap. But alas, not in my cards. My chiropractic appointment went all later than I planned. Now, I must make myself pretty for an audition...which could take a while.

It had better be worth it!

Posted by raven at 06:21 PM | Comments (0)

April 25, 2004

I want to rock and roll all night...

Whoa, for a minute there, I almost felt young again! Two parties in one night...very extreme.

We started the night at a friend's birthday party. I have to say that we felt pretty honored to be among those invited, as it was a small gathering, and upon arrival realized that outside of the hosting couple, we only knew one other person. So yeah, we thought it was pretty coo. It was a fun gathering, and we got to meet the dog. The dog is a taller than normal greyhound, and is beautiful. Now, for the record, I am not a dog person. I have to meet the dog, and there are certain breeds of dogs that I cannot stand. (for instance, standard poodles and Afgans. They are creepy, creepy dogs.) However, pretty much all greyhounds are cool. They are gorgeous, all lanky and graceful...elegant. And they have a great temperment. So, I enjoyed meeting the dog, although he was frighteningly tall.

Then, we moved along to a cast party. We decided to stop since it was on our way home. We did arrive in time to see the people that we wanted to see, and for once were not the last to leave. For some reason, we are always the last to leave. Once everyone is gone, it is just awkward... do we leave, do the hosts want to hang, are they bored by us and wish we would get the hell out...especially since we are the hosts that could care less. If someone wants to hang till the sun comes up, we are totally cool with it, because really, what else have we to do? Such a dillemma.

Finally, I read a fantastic article in the paper. Actually that was like the first thing I did, but whatever. Anyway, I really cannot expand very much on how incredible this young woman is...I think the piece speaks for itself.

Posted by raven at 12:08 PM | Comments (3)

April 23, 2004

It's just a telephone.

I was going to get up all early and start getting things accomplished for the day. Alas, this is my only day of the week to sleep in. Hence, the sleeping in won out.

I did wake up to a message from the place I applied at many moons ago. Okay, so it was one moon, but work with me people. Anyhow, there was a message on the answering machine. I am terrified to call back. Terrified. The phone scares me enough anyway (parylizingly so...I hate calling, answering, checking the messages)...add to the mix that I would LOVE to get this job. Somehow it was easier for me to not know and assume the worst, than to be confronted with the hard fact that maybe I didn't get it. Or, if they could just e-mail me...that would be sweet.

I am going to take a few deep breaths and go for it. Quick and painless, band-aid-style.

Wish me luck.

Posted by raven at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)

April 21, 2004


So, the good news is, I'm not so grouchy today. More on par with my usual bitchy self, as opposed to my super bitchy self (new and improved formula).

It probably started because I fell asleep watching Quentin Taratino directing Jimmy Kimmel. Or maybe it was because I caught sight of myself naked in the mirror this morning, and didn't freak out. My torso actually looks almost exactly like I want it to look! I do need to tone up my arms and back some more...but not bad, if I do say so myself. And (shameless plug) since I've lost 18-and-a-half pounds, I think I have the right to say so myself. Now, I just need to get my ass to look more like I envision. I think that maybe it (my ass) is allergic to my pants, and that's why it is still all swollen. Unfortunately, society seems to have a problem with people walking around sans pants (unless they are toddlers or infants), so my ass may have to stay somewhat swollen. Or, I just need to find pants that my ass isn't allergic to. If anyone else has a sensitive ass, and can offer any advice, I'd love to hear it.

I may also be in a decent mood, because I have actually been having some artistic inspriation. I think it may have to do with our office redecorating project. I have selected a color I like to call "Phantom Menace Blue." I do not yet know what that translates into Valspar terms, but it is the color of the sky in the Ep 1 poster with little Anakin and Darth Vader's shadow. I find that it is bright enough to be fun and a little funky, and not to country-wedgewood blue, and not too patriotic/americana. I also have a tenative furniture placement and some art tentatively placed. I am working on clearing the crap out of the room, Trading Spaces style. I am also looking forward to having some good space for painting, drawing and sewing. Although, I do have a couple of things on my wishlist: a foldable cutting table, and a self-healing cutting mat. So, if you are wanting to give me a pressie, and do not know what to get, those would be fabulous gifts. Not that I am trying to pressure you or anything. But those would be good.

Or, maybe it's because my cat was so darn cute this morning. I get out of the shower to hear him make his landing noise. (I can't adequately describe the noise with words) I step out of the bathroom to see that Ghas left one of his drawers open, exactly Ziggie width. And there was Herr Zig, chillin in the drawer. So, I of course had to commit the visual to film. I streaked through the house to grab a camera, and knelt down to get him all close. I even managed to get him to look right at me. However, the flash pissed him off, and he darted away. He must know I am talking about him, because he is staring at me as I type this. Either that, or he is hungry, and is calculating how long he could feed off my carcass.

Maybe I should go feed the cats.

Posted by raven at 04:42 PM | Comments (2)

April 20, 2004


That's the only way I can sum it up succinctly. To start off with I am far grouchier than usual. I'm PMSing which makes me far bitchier than usual. Yes, I can actually get bitchier. Usually I'm just a bitch. Sometimes a raving bitch. But when i'm PMSing, I turn into a roaring, rampaging bitch...so don't mess with me.

Now, yesterday, my inner beast was behaving surprisingly well. I didn't strangle the girl from the office who, as usual for Monday, fanned out all the cash in her wallet to show how much she made over the weekend bartending and serving. She then proceeded to bitch about how poor she is and how she needs to work two jobs. Right. Maybe you shouldn't brag about how stinking much you make if you are so broke.

Today, I behave myself very well when she practically put her foot up on the counter to get my opinion on how cute her shoes were. They were only $40 you know. I know more about the shoes than I ever wanted to know about any pair of shoes than I ever wanted to know. Everyone in the office knows more about the shoes than they ever wanted to know. And we still don't care.

I was saintly to the woman who has a giant hairy mole on the side of her face (not annoying per se, just gross), and always orders a skim latte, no foam. No matter if it doesn't have foam on it, she always takes a drink, then asks for more milk because it is her calcium intake for the day. Since that is her calcium intake for the day, she needs more milk in there, because that is the way she gets her calcium intake for the day (sometimes she mentions the words calcium intake more often). I saw her coming, and thought to myself, "I might have to go kung fu on her if she mentions her stinking calcium intake." That freaking latte was a work of foam-free art. She took her sip, and proceeded to mention her calcium intake about fifteen fecking times. One day I would just like to tell her that if that's her only source of calcium, she's in big trouble, because not only is there not enough milk in the drink, but the caffeine in the espresso lessens the ability of the body to absorb the calcium. Maybe I should recommend some Tums to her.

There was also the delightful lady who came in just as I was heading to lock the door for the day. She comes to the counter, and asks if we are affiliated with our other location. I say we are, as it's a common question. She then looks at our rolodex, where we keep our punch cards, and says, "no one offered me a card last time. I don't think I want anything after all." And turned on her heel, complete with head snap. WTF?!?! So, she came in just to say that?

As Randall says in Clerks, "This job would be great, if it weren't for the fucking customers."

Posted by raven at 08:42 PM | Comments (2)

April 19, 2004


Wow. Continuous posting: Day five. I went on what the movie advertisments would refer to as a "roaring rampage of blogging."
yeah, i saw the second half of Kill Bill yesterday. Freakin' awesome. As G attested, it really should have been one movie. However, even in two servings, it was freaking awesome. Dare I say, Quentin Tarantino's best film to date! (Prior to this, I would have said Pulp Fiction, and as I consider KB to be one film, Pulp Fiction would be number two. And while I like jackie Brown, I feel it is his weakest film)

Anyway, everything about it was cool, visually cool....I love, love, love how each chapter has it's own style and feel. Everything from live-action anime, to actual anime, to old-school Kung-fu, to good old fashioned Tarantino, ala Reservoir Dogs. The fight choreography was amazing, the film was funny, hell, I even developed a soft spot for ol' Bill.. And, I am still thinking about what transpired in the film. I can't wait for the DVD, and am hoping that in true-Tarantino style, it is kick-ass, full of features, and hopefully, the whole movie from beginning to end.

I could go on, but I worry I will spoil the film for the uninitiated. I'll suffice it to say, I want to learn some ass-shopping kung fu, some Samurai sword skillz, and I want Bill's sofa (which I am pretty sure is a Todd Oldham sofa, who by the way if he weren't gay, he would be mine, oh yes, he would be mine) Anyhoo...it is an all around hot movie.

Now, me not being Harvey freakin Weinstein, not only would I have made Kill Bill one kick-ass film, I also would not have greenlit the remake of Shall We Dance?. I can't buy the movie on stinking DVD, but they are trying an americanized version of the film. The whole thing infuriates me, as the film was, in part, a commentary on the Japanese culture, and the expectations that are held for, in this case, a businessman. In the film, it is worse that he turns to dancing, than to sex. Why not re-release the original, with this same ridiculous marketing push they are giving to this drivel starring J-Lo. If you have seen the original film, which by the way, was only made in 1996...no reason for a remake..I'm sure you understand. I am seriously pissed about the whole thing. First of all, how dare they assume that everything needs to be americanized, and secondly how dare the public allow ourselves to be treated as though we are not capable of understanding the subtley of the original. If it's not one's cup of tea, that's one thing, but to blatantly remake something kidergarten schoolteacher style makes me livid. Not to mention, if this crap is available for purchase prior to the original, I'm gonna go all Black Mamba on someone.

Can you tell I am passionate about artist intentions? Down with the Weinsteins!

Whew...got that off my chest.

The Weinsteins don't know Kung fu do they??

Posted by raven at 07:48 PM | Comments (2)

April 18, 2004

So Jealous...

So, it turns out that G was the blog of the day on Babelogue Friday.

I'm not registered there, but still, that's freakin' cool.

I can say I'm married to the popular kid now.

That sure beats being married to the geek that lives in the basement.

Posted by raven at 03:34 PM | Comments (2)

I hope I haven't done this already...

So, I saw this neato list of questions on Playapixie, and thought they were so cool, I want to answer them! yay for exclamation points!


Not a subdivision? I don't know where beyond that. Someplace with a cool view, maybe in chicago, overlooking lake MI and postioned so that we can see the city also. It would have to be open, and would only contain partition walls (meaning walls that don't go all the way to the ceiling, like about 8' high or so, not that they would be cubicle style). Any windows would be floor to ceiling and abundant. i would love the new Andersen windows that you can make opaque or project stuff on them. bamboo or cork floors. This is a fantasty house right?


PJ pants, or yoga pants. I could live in them.


Arms...I like thin arms, not flabby, but not muscleman like either.


Ummm...I think Scarlet's Walk by Tori Amos. It's been a while, but there are a ton that I want.


Bed, so warm...full of kitties...




If someone wants to massage me, i'll take it anywhere!


Both are good. But, I would have to say that if I can't have a good discussion with someone, then it doesn't matter what else they've got.


If it's up to me, noon, if it's for work, 7ish.


My antique blender and my kitchenaid mixer.




Guitar...maybe piano. I used to play flute and saxophone...but never loved playing them.


Red, any shade thereof..


That depends...if we're talking cute little SUV's, I like those, and there are some cute sports cars that I like...hmm...


yes, I think our souls keep going on their own paths, each new life based on the achievements of the last.


Anything by Chris van Allsburg


Fall, followed by spring


Laundry, followed by dishes


ummm...the ability to look like a hot super hero...


No, but I want one super badly...


Nope, and I have tried many, amny times...


No. But, if I could talk to anyone at all, it would hands down be Gandhi.


Any day that I don't have to work..


Uh...a lot of stuff....


Sushi...I'm allergic to beef....


All of them.


I would be an actor/artist/crafter, and not be a barista...

Posted by raven at 02:15 PM | Comments (4)

April 17, 2004


So I spent today at the CD4 Convention. I should backtrack, to the SD64 Caucus. At the end of that whole shebang, they needed another female (for affirmative action and all) to fill out the delegates for our subcaucus. The gentleman running our subcaucus asked the lady holding up her hand for her name. I looked around to see what nice lady volunteered. Oh crap. It was my hand up in the air. I seriously have no idea how it shot up, but it did. I then offered to be an alternate, since I was sure the other people signed up would much rather be assured a spot on the floor.

Fast forward to this morning.

As I banged on the snooze button, I wondered what the hell my hand was thinking shooting up like that. I wanted to sleep in. Maybe eat some oatmeal in the afternoon. But I had to get up, look lively, put on clothes. (word on the street is that it is frowned upon to show up naked.) My only consolation was that I didn't have to work due to this commitment.

Now, I should clarify. It wasn't that I didn't want to be involved politically...however, things like this scare me. Things involving me at the center of scads of people, having no clue what I'm doing make me hyperventilate. Sometimes sob. Sometimes utter nonsense words that I think are perfectly normal. So why would I throw myself willingly into such a situation???

Anyway, it wasn't so bad. I made G come with me, until I figured out what the hecate was up. He dutifully ran and got me food while I waited for the credentials report, and while I listened to our good Senator speak. I did get upgraded, yay! So the waking up at the ass-crack of dawn was worth it. I got to vote on lots of things, and it felt good to be involved. I got to see rebellion-boy again. Seriously, I am happy to see young people get involved, and I wish that I would have been more involved (I mean besides voting) at that age, and there were a lot of teenagers that seemed passionate and responsible. But Rebellion boy, with his red beret and no shoes, and his, "take the power back!" was all a little too Rage against the machine for me. Point of Clarification, I love Rage, Zach de la Rocha is brilliant. However, I do not pretend to be him in public, and I do have more political knowledge that the lyrics of "Killing in the name of." Anyway, I hope he's around in two years. I'd like to see if he owns shoes.

So, my brain got used full force today, and my ass was used for nothin' but sittin'. So, brilliant me decides that I need to take a nice long walk. I changed my shirt, and put on some sneaks, and headed out. Apparently I looked hot enough for an overweight teen in an SUV to hit on me. Good to know I've still got it. Must be the 18 pounds I've lost (yeah, that was a shameless plug...sue me). I saw too many dogs to count, three cats (one of whom was lounging at a house that was not hers), and two rabbits (not pet rabbits...wild rabbits). We all know that where there are two rabbits...there are a million rabbits.

Anyway, my brain is sore, and my bloated carcass has nothing left. So, I must adjourn. All in Favor?

Crap, will I be talking like that permanently??

Posted by raven at 10:32 PM | Comments (0)

April 16, 2004

It burns, it buhuhuhrrrrns...

So, my brows have been looking shaggy lately. Not in that sexy Brooke Shields in the 80's way, but more in the old man sort of way. I figured my usual at home waxing was in order. First of all, ripping out all those tiny hairs was much more painful than I expected. Now, a few hours later, my eyelids are burning. Not a tingly, happy sort of burn, but a fiery, hydrochloric acid sort of burn. Silly me, I thought a dollop of aloe would help. Mwahahahahaaa.

It merely fueled the burning.

Thankfully we are going to a movie tonight. No one will see the screaming redness of my eye area in the dim theater. And I can tell everyone that I'm a character from the movie. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Posted by raven at 05:50 PM | Comments (0)

Well, don't we have high expectations...

Eek...suddenly I feel like this blog has something to live up to.
First of all, a lot of pressure came here:
Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I mean, how can I explain my random use of punctuation now??? I know how to use it, I just can't bring myself to...oohh...I bet this means I also need to be more vigilant of the typos, and should be careful not to be a malaprop anymore. Oh wait, that wasn't me. I'll just stick with the typos and the puctuation.

Beyond that, it seems people may actually be reading this thing. There are links on other sites. Sites, that until yesterday, I never even read (which now I have, and I apologize, and you shall get your just props). There's part of me that feels like I have to kick this bad boy up a notch. Be witty. Add esoteric references. Be more political. Then there's the part of me that figures if this drivel is already being read, why bother. But then there's the part of me that would like this blog to be all of those things.

Well, call me Sybil.

Posted by raven at 12:25 PM | Comments (2)

April 15, 2004

Last one, promise

It's The Apprentice finale tonight! I totally got sucked in to it, including all the drama. I think Bill will win. He has the skills, and the experience. I like Kwame, but think he needs more real world experience.

So, one less thing for me to get sucked in to every week.

I am trying to decide on a color-scheme for our office/guest room. It needs to coordinate with G's Ep 1 posters, and all of our fun stuff (like action figures, etc.) I was thinking pale blue & red, with touches of white and black, but am worried it will get too patriotic or Nautica in here. Oh, and it needs to match our furniture, which is mainly dark honey colored wood of varying types. Hopefully G and I can get the room ready for painting and whatnot tomorrow. The painting would probably have to hold off until next week, since I will be at our Congressional District convention Saturday, and G will be gaming . Sunday we will probably be recovering.

I really need to space these things out...you know, to make it nice. For the people.

Posted by raven at 05:34 PM | Comments (0)

Happy Parents

I wasn't sure I should post this here, but I figured that everyone's going to find out anyway. I apologize if anyone is hurt, there's a lot of excitment around here right now.

We had a feeling about it on sunday, but it became official Tuesday morning.

Gis not the father, but has already gone through the adoption process, and the father is okay with it. Since it looks like Uma Thurman anyway, no one will really know (like I'd be dumb enough to tell them)

Yes, we are the very proud parents of Kill Bill: Volume one. She's adorable, and we love her very much. We will be seeing her younger but equally attractive sister soon. We aren't ready for visitors yet, but we may just have to have everyone over to see her.

Posted by raven at 05:14 PM | Comments (0)

Beverly Hills, 90210

Wow, part of me thinks I have such a great post entry, I can hardly stand it. It's a lot like feeling like I have to pee, and I can't get to a bathroom...not even a public restroom! Only I know I don't have to pee because I just did, so it has to be the blog. Now, I could just post, and I could be like the version of the Heathers I went to school with.

It could all get v.v. grade school 'round these parts.

But, there's part of me that isn't sure I'm supposed to be involved, and there's the other part of me that thinks that the point is to revert to the grade school nonsense, and finally the part of me that says I should do what I always do and < mommy voice > i-g-n-o-r-e </mommy voice > .

Sigh, maybe I'll just go watch some Ben Stiller.

Posted by raven at 05:04 PM | Comments (0)

April 12, 2004

Easter, Schmeaster

So, yesterday was Easter. Wow, if that line won't snare you into reading this thing, I don't know what will. Those words just scream thrill a minute, don't they?

Anyway, to start off, we partied on Saturday night. My hubby, the festie, was invited to a party for the troupe he's in (which I think consists of all the cool people at the fest, except for a couple...meaning a couple of cool people at the festival, not that any of the puppet troupe isn't cool, cuz they are, or I wouldn't have gone). I wasn't sure I was going to go, but I had a lot of fun. We stayed until 6 something in the morning...EEK!

Needless to say, we didn't go to church on Sunday. (we had planned to go to this church G has been wanting to check out..yup we were going to be those people). Heck, we woke up after we were supposed to be at Easter dinner, OUCH! Fortunately, dinner was only a few blocks away, so we weren't too bad in terms of tardiness. The food was good. But, my in laws are boring. No traditions or anything, just eating dinner together. I wish my family were closer, so we could go there, but alas, the 12 hour drive makes it tough. They do fun stuff. On saturday night, the eggs get dyed. This involves taking white crayons and writing each person's name on an egg, which they get to dye any color, and cross dying them, and making patterns with the dye, and all sorts of wacky dye adventures. The eggs get hidden by the bunny, while the fam is in church. The eggs get hidden outside, unless it is absolutely pouring rain. Inside, baskets are hidden, each person getting at least one basket, full of goodies, and some bigger presents. The easter bunny is always crafty in the hiding. I really miss that. I miss everyone getting dressed up for Easter, and taking pictures of the activities and whatnot.


We ate dinner and sat around. Brother talked about his new scheme du jour. This time it's a bar. Yawn. Golf was watched. Brother went to get chick du jour to have her sit while we ate dessert and look bored out of her mind. We went home. V.V. exciting.

However, the Easter bunny left baskets. Mine contained a Sylvester toy in a bunny costume, which was the same stuffy I got two years ago...and the bunny swore it was just decoration. More importantly the basket contained Cadbury eggs, and Friends: Season 7.

G had a hard time finding his basket, due to lack of practice as a youngster, but his had LOTS of treats, and a big head dog. For some reason he thinks they are super cute, so he got one.

Today, I am recovering from the weekend. Hopefully, I will be functional tomorrow. Key word : Hopefully.

Posted by raven at 10:10 PM | Comments (2)

April 10, 2004

yeah, I'm a freak...and this is gross...

So, when it comes to taking care of myself, I prefer a hands-on approach. For example, if I feel a pimple coming on, I must pop it, ready or not. If I find some weird bump, I must poke and prod at it until it is gone. I can't just be patient and wait for it to go away. If I have some muscle that is in a knot, or a sharp pain, I have to knead the hell out of it, figuring that I will see stars permanently or I will somehow beat it in to submission. I also take great pleasure out of doing these things to other people.

In fact, this is one of the myriad of reasons I get along so well with my sister. We revel in sharing such things with each other. A possible conversation between us:

Me: Hey sis, I have this weird stabbing pain in my back, could you work on it?
Her: Where is it?
Me: Between my shoulder blades.
Her (feeling around) Here?
Me: No, but now that you are pushing on that spot as hard as you can, I think it's worse than the other spot. Does it feel crunchy?
Her: Yeah, especially when I dig into it with my elbow.
Me: Wow, my arm is numb, and I can't seee out of my right eye, you must be doing something right. Is there any way you can get more leverage?

My sister would then proceed to use knees, elbows, children, whatever, to try and get the knot out. Eventually she would get to the spot that I wanted her to work on. Then, when I can't feel any extremities, and my vision is gone, I say, "thanks, that felt really good, I have this weird lump on my back, do you think it's ready to pop?"

She would look at it, mumble something about it probably being a tumor, I assure her that it can be squeezed out, she works on it some more, gives up, then I go feeling around with my fingers (which are slowly waking up) sure that I can take care of it. I repeat this over several days, until the thing is gone or totally mangled. Let me tell you, G loves this side of me. Much the way he loves oral surgery and the flu.

If I see anyone else with a pimple, a part of me wants to help them out and pop it. The almost rational side of me talks the crazy side out of it. Heck, I've even thought about becoming an aesthetician, so that people would pay me to poke around in their pores. Charming huh?

Sometimes, I think I might have a problem. Like when my sister told me about a friend of hers. Their family was camping, when an abscess was discovered behind the daughter's ear. They pack up and head home. The mom researches on the internet, thinks it's mastoiditis, and rushes the daughter to the ER. It is mastoiditis, caused by a cyst that ruptured, got infected, became an abscess, and started eating through part of her ear and skull. She had to have surgery, and if they waited much longer the abscess would have started eating away at her brain.

So, Sis and I are discussing it, realizing if it would have been one of us, we would have been screwed. We would've been poking at it, trying to squeeze it out or something, and keeled over in the process. You would think that I learned something from that story. Nope. Although, I do hope that whatever I am poking at isn't something that will kill me.

Please note: I do wash my hands before and after any of these little enterprises. I'm not that disgusting.

So, I have a stye one my right eye (yup, I'm a poet, don't I know it). Of course, I figure I can pop it, like I always do. But this one is relly deep, and it's bothering me (I only messed with it this morning, once). I want to just squeeze it out, but it doesn't want to let me. I know that if my sister were here, she would fix it up good, but she is two states away. I could see a doctor, but that isn't any fun. I may actually do the sensible thing, and apply a hot compress, and let it go away on its own. Imagine that.

Wow, I can't believe I shared that. But, I did. So there. So, I'm off to lie down, with a compress.

Posted by raven at 04:38 PM | Comments (0)

Nothing could be finah...

I must say that starting the day by giving your cat a bath is invigorating. Hearing his cat screams and having him kick your ass...there's nothing like it. Really...there's nothing that can even come close.

Now, I am not a masochist. However, the cat had developed an odor. He actually had a green cloud around him, and flies were dropping dead around him. he could've given someone a fantastic case of stinkpalm if he so chose. I think it has something to do with his prescription food, but I will spare you the details. Suffice it to say, today was the day. Before I got ready for work, I decided that the bath was absolutely necessary. Silly me, I also thought I could handle the bath by myself. Heeheehee...after I developed a puncture wound that would make Dracula swoon, I decided to call for back-up. G got to drop the beast back into the tub, while I quickly closed the shower door. (this would be the one time in my entire life that I thought shower doors were a good thing) I caught my breath, whilst Ziggie shrieked and tried to conquer the shower door. We decided a plan of attack, and G held the tiny beast, while I washed. It was hard, it was smelly, the cat was pissed. But, he is much cleaner, and may forgive us sometime this century.

The next part of our plan involves combing and clipping his butt-hair. Yeah, that should be fun.

Note to self: When a ten pound cat battles a one-hundred-mumble-mumble pound woman, the cat will always win.

Posted by raven at 04:00 PM | Comments (0)

April 08, 2004

I knew there was something I forgot...

Like G, I am a little late with this, but since things aren't resolved, the public needs tranportation, and transit workers need a fair deal, I'll still tell you how to help.

TODAY Wed 4/7, call (651) 296-3391 or (800) 657-3717

Tell him:

- Come to the table directly and settle the strike
- You can't balance the budget on the backs of transit workers
- Affordable health care is a right
- Transit is important to our communities

Feel free to spread the word to other bloggers and yes - even non-bloggers.

Keep blitzing our *hopefully* one-term gov!

Posted by raven at 04:50 PM | Comments (0)

April 06, 2004

Then the horns kicked in

and my shoes started to squeak

Sometimes it's quiet at work, and it gives me time to think. So yesterday I was thinking about how when people say, "thank-you," it often sounds like, "fuck-you." Well, not so much that they sound the same, but that they are really close. And, sometimes when you say, "thank-you," what you really want to say is, "fuck-you," or maybe even, "fuck-you very much." I didn't realize this on my own of course. This kid Finkel, whom I used to work with at the video store, pointed it out to me. Of course, at the time, I laughed in his face.

"Of course it doesn't sound like fuck-you mwhahahaha."

It wasn't until later, that I realized he was right. Now, every time someone thanks me, a little voice in the back of my head says, "fuck-you."

I think you see what I'm saying.

Posted by raven at 04:34 PM | Comments (0)

April 04, 2004

It's how late?!?!

Last night was spent celebrating G's birthday. It was pretty fun. We started off the night at HRC. I have to say that there was some good mocking to be had at ye olde Harde Rocke. It started with the girls who confused two days of sunshine with the middle of July, and were wearing obviously summer clothes. Brrr. Then we saw the brunet version of Tony Little...except that this guy had man breasts going on. They were shown off nicely in his salmon colored, shimmery, skin-tight shirt. He certainly had a look. There was a part of me that wanted to go up to him, coyly stroke his biceps, and purr, " Do you work out?" The other part of me thought his stripey turtlenecked companion might not have taken it so kindly. But he had neither biceps or man breasts, so I don't really think it would have been a problem.

I splurged on the HRC nachos...soo yummy. And G and I had Appletinis (easy on the tini). I also had a Pickled Tink...which is worth ordering for the name alone. IT is also super yummy...all fruity and frozen....mmmm...I figure a girl's gotta splurge every now and then.

We moved to GameWorks next for some gaming and bowling action. I have to say, until last night, we did not know it was SEGA GameWorks, and until just now, I had no idea Steven Spielberg had anything to do with its creation. Hmmm...

Anyhoo, I attempted DDR with G. Unfortunately, we did not have any clue as to how the symbols on the screen worked. So we tried to get them all as they floated up, not realizing we had to wait until they hit the top. Fortunately, G's friend Jeremiah showed us how it was done. He was way too good at it though. Hence, I didn't go back to the DDR. We bowled. I did alright. I actually had a couple of Strikes! Woohoo! G even got me to play some fighting game. Surprisingly, I kicked ass. I don't know how I did though. My technique was purely hitting the kick button as fast as I could. The weird flips and things my chicka (which, my chicka was hot....that's what i want to look like, all curvy and muscular, ready to kick ass at a moment's notce) did, were purely coincidental. Some of our gang did the racing game. I was proud because G won.

I have to admit that the fun was soured at one point. First, some back story. I've really tried to like/get along with G's brother. Unfortunately, I think it's time to give it up for a while. Every so often, he shows a glimmer of being a normal, dare I say, responsible human being. Unfortunately, I fear that will never be the case. Case in point: our wedding. G asks Brother to be best man. Brother says yes. Fast forward to about a month before the wedding. Brother e-mails G. Subject line "Just to let you know..." In which he says that he took a part in a play that runs the day of the wedding. He will be there for the ceremony, but will have to leave for the reception. Did he ever talk it over with G? Did he ever apologize to me? Did he even manage to get us a card? No, no, and no. This is Brother's standard behavior to everything. There are other issues I have with his royal selfishness...but right now, I am focusing on his lack of follow-through. Brother was in a show last night. First he says he doesn't know if he can come at all, because of some party. Then he says he wants to come have a drink. Then the party gets canceled, so he says he will be there to bowl with us. Right, so his only brother is merely his back-up plan. Anyway, he says he will be at the place around 11. Eleven comes and goes. Eleven-thirty comes and goes. At some point he calls to say he is on his way. No sign of him. Finally, at 12:30am he calls to say he went to some other party, but he still wants to bowl. Well, we were done bowling, and by the time he would have arrived, the place would be about to close. Now, if he would manage to say, hey, I'm sorry I already have plans, I can't be there. Fine, we wouldn't count on him. But to continually say he is going to do things, and then bail. I am seriously sick of it. I said something half jokingly to him yesterday, when he mentioned he wasn't sure who to choose as his best man for his wedding (a purely fictional wedding by the way), and he mendtioned G was one of the options. I said that at least G would show up and stay for the whole thing. He got really snotty to me, and said I needed to get over it. The only thing that popped out of my mouth was that it was the only wedding I would ever get, so I would dwell if I felt like it. To which he said it was over a year ago (does he even know when we got married?), too bad. I got up and walked away. I would be totally over it, if he didn't get so snotty to us about it, and if he ever would have apologized, or talked to us about it. He has such this attitude that the world should stop for him, and that he should be allowed to let people down without consequence. Grrr...

**to clarify, he does these things to lots of people. And there are lots of other stupid things he does. I was attempting, futiley, to keep this brief, not to be petty**

So, I've decided that if I am responsible for invites for any get-together we have in the future. I am just not going to bother inviting him. That should save him the trouble.

whew...I feel better having let that out.

Anyway, upon leaving, and going into the light of Block E...lets just say, the light is not kind to many people. We watched all the people leaving the night club next door. Eek. It was a little sad to see these people that hooked up in the dark second guess in the light. I would try to describe these people, but I fear it would be an exercise in futility. So instead, I leave with this little nugget from a flyer for the nightclub (which seriusly gives the vibe of a strip club)

"Join us April 10th as the producers of Mardi Gras bring you Boogie Nights
Grab your platform shoes and your bell-bottoms, pick out that 'fro and get ready to groove! We're doing it again, except this time add a disco ball, rollerskates, a lighted dance floor and a special appearance by:
"Macho Man" The Disco Midget.
It won't be just a theme party...It will be an experience.

From my eyes to yours, grammar included.

Posted by raven at 05:32 PM | Comments (0)