March 27, 2006

hmmm...

So, I found this link today, where you draw a house and it tells you what your personality is like based on your drawing. Here's what it had to say:

Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. .

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself


I think it is pretty well on, except the last part. I am such a flirt and I have love. I don't see why me having a flower garden means this...hmmmm...

Posted by raven at 07:45 AM | Comments (0)

March 15, 2006

squirrels gone wild

squirrel on squirrel action.jpg

Posted by raven at 03:37 PM | Comments (0)

March 14, 2006

blue...

ugh...feeling blue today. There's a reason, but it's not really a good one.

The good...I got a promotion at work. It went into effect on Sunday, and I now make almost $2.50 more an hour. I will keep my part time job for a while, and hope that between all that, it will halp us get caught up, financially. We need to pay off our debt, save up considerably more, and fix up our condo to sell it. I think the extra moola should help. On the bright side, I've already been pretty much doing the job I just got promoted to, so it's more money for the same responsibility.

I auditioned at Unifieds on Saturday. Basically a bunch of theatres come, and you audition for them all at once. I learned a lot from the experience. I did okay. I was contacted by a theatre already, I just have to get someone to trade shifts with me so I can go to their callback. I got some good feedback from one of the directors there. Not great, but above average. Overall, for my first time out I am pleased.

My show opens next Friday. I have been having a blast with this character. I am just a little nervous about costumes. I need them to work out some of my blocking...and I've barely tried on some of my costume pieces. Since I have a whole scene where I'm changing onstage, I would like to be comfortable with it. The show is still a bit wobbly, but I think we will get it evened out by next Friday. Last night we couldn't get in to any of our normal rehearsal spaces, so we rehearsed at the Green Mill, it was pretty hilarious. A massive table full of loud women...I'm sure the other patrons were delighted. I decided to host an opening night cast party...so I need to get the house in shape by then...EEK!

The bad...maybe if I just vent it, I will feel better....

so I've become really good friends with this guy I met doing a show last summer. We've been through some drama since we've met, but have been able to work through it. Well, he got a girlfriend late last fall. I will spare the details of their dynamic. He had a small get-together in January, sort of a kick off to the new year, post NYD. He and I were being our usual goofy selves, and we wound up wrestling. Like a brother and sister would wrestle. It started because I'm always telling him I could kick his ass. Anyhow, she spent the party pouting on the sofa. So, he sat with her the rest of the night. Apparently, the next day, she told him that she didn't want us to wrestle anymore. Not a big deal...although I didn't think pouting without saying anything in the first place was the best way to handle it. Anyhow, because of that, I felt like she didn't like me. He assured me that she did. Our friends were assuring me that she just needed to get to know me. Okay. At a friend's birthday party, I was talking to someone, and she came up and asked how I was doing. I answered, and continued the conversation I was in the middle of. I was rude, apparently. I guess I should have ceased my current conversation and started a new one. G and I went to a (really, really awful) play with them. My friend had to leave early (the show ran a good hour over what it should have) to go to work. After the show, G and I left our seats to get out of the way of the exiting patrons. We were standing right outside the door of the theatre waiting for her to talk to her. She blew right past us. Yet again, we were the ones who were rude for not staying in our seats. She was behind me so I had no way of knowing that she was behind us or staying. We were watching for her, and she blew past. So, I was going to give up. However, my friend told me that she thought I was the one being rude and that I obviously didn't like her. So, I got some info about her from a mutual friend. I decided at the next party we were at I would strike up a conversation with her, as to not be rude, and to show her that indeed, I thought she was okay. Well, due to the dynamics of the party, I didn't get to talk to her. When G and I left, I said, well, I guess I blew that. I wonder how bitchy I cam across this time. I get an e-mail from my friend the next day about how wonderfully she and I were getting along, and how pleased he was. I was like WTF? It wasn't any different than any other time I've seen her.
*sigh*
So, Recently, it was his birthday, and he was having a party. Things started out reasonably. When he was opening his cards and presents, she read ours, and shot me a dirty look. Fine, whatever However, at one point, I was messing with him, in a totally joking manner, and she yells STOP IT! Ummm...I didn't think I was doing anything, and I don't think you need to yell...however, I just backed the hell away. Later, I was sitting on the couch curled up next to him, with Geoff on the floor in front of me. G was cool. He know we are friends. He knows I am affectionate. I heard her say curtly, "what are you doing?" I was like...ummm..nothing. I guess she also said that she wanted us to stop, we were bothering her. I didn't hear this because she was several feet away, on my bad side. However, he didn't do a thing, and he did hear her. So, she starts "cleaning." This involves a lot fo stomping around, slamming objects down, and slamming doors. I was like, WTF? It was all very passive agressive to me, which I have ZERO tolerance for. Just say what your problem is, and we'll work it out. I am not a freaking mind reader. Well, she's out on the patio, and G goes out to have a smokey treat (we do this every now and then, if we are drinking). She's out there. He notices it's sleeting, and says, "oh, it's still icky out." She says, "what are they doing in there??" He replies that he doesn't know, so she goes storming back in. I prceed to get upset. I go out on the patio, we come back in, and decide to leave. She is still Stompy McStomperson. I get pissed, and decide it would be best for me to leave as quickly as posssible. As I am leaving, I say to her to get over her insecurities and not take them out on me. Catty? Yes. But, seriously, I am sick of the drama. So, I try to get perspective from mutual friends. The play devil's advocate. They give me perspective from her side. I e-mail my friend to apologize for the way I left. He goes off on me. Basically insinuating that all of the events of the night are all my fault. That how was she supposed to react to a more attractive girl curled up on the couch with her boyfriend. He goes on to say that G was disgusted with our behavior. That she sai G was obviously disgusted when he came out onto the balcony. He says that I should understand his girlfriend, because I've dealt with my own weight issues.

First of all, G and I discussed the events, at length. He was not bothered, and I know for a fact that if he was, he would tell me. been there, done that, got over it. G knows I am coming home with him, and that we are together forever. No one but he has the right to tell anyone how he feels. Second of all, it is not up to me to allay her relationship insecurities. He is the one that needs to show her that he is committed to her. That he finds her attractive. Third, yes, I have had (and have) weight issues. Just because I am insecure about that, does not give me the right to take those issues out on anyone else. They are not anyone's fault but my own. For me to get pissy with someone for the who they are, because I wasn't happy with myself, is a crock of shit. Finally, if I have a problem with someone, and it's worth it to me, I will pull them aside and work through it.

So, we had a face to face conversation a week ago (three days after the party). It turns out that she thought we were making out on the sofa. She thought this because we were talking quietly. She was pissed over something that didn't even happen. I told him that I was done with trying to be her friend. If she would have at any point talked to me during that evening, she would have found out the truth. Instead, she was determined to believe whatever she wanted to believe, and be the drama queen. She outright lied about G's behavior on the balcony. If it was the first weird thing that happened between us, fine. But it wasn't. And, I am not about to change who I am for anyone, much less someone who is peripheral in my life. He and I talked, and things were okay (or so he said) between he and I. He needed to talk to his girlfriend more. I told him I was sorry that things didn't work out between she and I the way he had hoped.

Well, it's been a week. the only communication I have received, was him wishing me luck on my audition, and saying htat he still needed to think about things. If he is going to be pissed, or not talk to me, that's fine. But dude, jsut say, hey..I don't want to be your friend anymore, or whatever, and I can at least get over it, instead of wondering WTF is going on. Is that too much to ask? If I e-mail him, I don't know if he will feel all pressured and freak out on me (which he has been very good at in the past).

So, there it is. All this over a friend. Oh well, hopefully my retail therapy with G tonight will make it all go away :)

Posted by raven at 11:13 AM | Comments (1)

March 09, 2006

you tell me....

So, what do you all think...is this me?

OCTOBER - Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes
things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Sexy. Gets angry often.
Treats friends importantly. Always making new friends. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Day dreamer. Loyal. Opinionated. Does not care what
others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel,
the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Honest, does not
pretend. Concerned. Love s outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily
influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children???????

I think outside of loving children...it is pretty accurate. Although there are three children I love...so maybe that counts? Even if one of them is *gasp* a TEENAGER!

Posted by raven at 09:55 PM | Comments (1)

March 08, 2006

they say it's your birthday...

So, it seems everyone is suddenly having a birthday. I've sung the happy birthday song so many times in the past couple of weeks, I think my vocal chords may rebel against me. Plus, we are gearing up for G's big three-oh celebration. So, I feel like it's time to reflect on some birthdays gone by. Plus, I sort of left off in October with my 2005 year in review, so I never got to recap my latest golden birthday. Hence, today is the beginning of some birthday festivity recappage.

Let me start by saying, October is my favorite month of the year. It is smack dab in the middle of my favortie season, Autumn. The leaves are at their peak color, all shades of red, orange, gold, and olive. I love the way they crunch beneath my feet on the sidewalk, and the way they smell as they pile up on the lawn. The air is cool, the perfect temperature, usually, for a jacket, blazer, or sweater. often it is still warm enough to run into the club on a Saturday night, and leave the coat in the car. It is the time for Samhein, Halloween. For carving pumpkins, for bonfires, for dressing up like someone else, and eating treats till the wee hours. The air is charged with energy and magic. It just doesn't get any better. I feel blessed to have my birthday fall during this season. I feel blessed to have a partner in crime who loves this time of year almost as much, who wanted a fall wedding, and who was geeky enough to agree to a ten-thirteen wedding date. *sigh*

So, on my birthday, a tradition of throwing a big party with costumes and merriment started a few years ago. It happened to start with my golden birthday. So, each year is a celebration of my 25th year on the 25th day. (it's called suspension of disbelief, people. Work with me.) I start planning a costume well in advance, and despite things like panic attacks throwing wrenches into things, we have quite the shindigs.

2005 was no exception.

The costume? Gabriel from Constantine. The color scheme? Poison Green, pumpkin orange, and witchy purple. The guests? The people I've been blessed with in my life, who live close enough to show up at such a shindig. ( I assume those in the far reaches of the country and world are there in spirit). This year it included a group of people known as "The Fab Five" A group of three guys, plus Geoff and I, who met during the run of Night of January 16th, along with other special people we met during that show, along with many of our usual suspects. It did not include our friend, the Seamster, who was having a radioactive patch removed from his eye, or our friends who we may as well call the L family. They were having a second baby within moments fo the party. We missed them.

We were getting ready until the last possible minute. I was actually late, and got to make a grand entrance. I nearly forgot an important piece of my costume. Geoff pointed out that I wasn't wearing any of the hospital bracelets I had to purchase in a lot of 500 online. (By the way, if you have a use for about 40025 white Hospital bracelets, I can help you out). I donned them, and the party was in full swing. What I forgot, was that I had two slices of pizza for lunch. That was my food intake for the entire day. I tried to get food several times, and by the time I made it to the table, there were some pretzels left. So, the hard liquor I was drinking had nothing to cushion it. I was lit like a christmas tree. Several guests brought me presents. I got Gilmore Girls season One from one of my best friends, Darkn...(dude, get a blog or something). I also got GG seasons one and two from G. Do these guys know me or what?? (I'll admit publicly that the GG that was purchased at full price was traded in for The Wizard of Oz and most of the Red Curtain Collection.) I received an adorable make-up bag filled with all sorts of funky make-up. The bag says "wine girl" (these people don't know me at all!). I got this crazy rubbery, spikey ball thing that doubles as a wig...super hilarious. My friend Zusy made me a beautiful beaded necklace. Dark Travesty got me this fantastic bottle of Riesling...so, so yummy. It was all very wicked cool.

We enjoyed my coffin-shaped cake, we danced, and people were giving me drinks left and right. Outside of a slight amount of late-night drunken drama, it was an absolute blast. I should've been sick as a dog the next day, but nope. However, our condo looked like we threw a kegger. There were cups, trash, food...EVERYWHERE. I mopped the floor three times before it felt like it was reasonably clean. It was a little frightening...but super fun.

This year will be my last annual Golden Birthday shindig, as we are heading out west early next year. I may have something small out there...but it probably won't be the same. So, we have to live it up this year. I already have Geoff's and my costume in the works. We will be the cutest two people ever.

Posted by raven at 10:04 PM | Comments (0)

March 01, 2006

squirrel of the month?

Yeah, yeah, I suck...but I think this little guy is worth the wait...

goth squirrel.jpg

Posted by raven at 03:51 PM | Comments (2)