March 22, 2007

the oracle is wise

"No, you've already made the choice. Now you have to understand it."

Of course Dumbledore is also very wise.

"Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy."

These have been rolling around in my head of late....

Posted by raven at 10:17 PM | Comments (0)

let me dirty up your mind

So, late last night (or early this morning, if you prefer) as I was making my way home, I began to think about blogs. Now, I try to be pretty open on this here blog. However, I still have some reservations about what I put here. I kind of wish I could just go balls-out and write whatever I'm thinking/feeling/doing, devil-may-care style. There was a blog awhile back, and the title is lost somewhere in my peabrain at the moment. Anyhow, I read said blog only a couple of times before it disappeared into the ether. This blog was also discussed in Chuck Olsen's Blogumentary. It was theoretically written by a local young woman who drove a new Beetle, and hit all the cool rock shows in town, and was unabashedly open in her blog. It garnered quite a following because of the raw honesty. She really let the reader into her life. Of course, it turned out that the blog was really written by a middle aged man. It wasn't really a life on display, hence the intensity.

Anyhow, I wish I could do that for real. Just say everything, and let the cards fall where they may. Yet, there's this tiny part of me that actually cares what people think. This causes me to post less, as I censor myself. If I wrote about my feelings every day, for instance, would this cause my mother to worry and call me every day? If I said what was really on my mind about some of the people I come across in my day to day life, how upset would some of the people I actually care about who have these people in their lives be? Should anyone know about some of the weird and possibly disturbing habits or thoughts I have? Would they want to?

In this day and age of premanufactured blogs, like mySpace or Livejournal, I realize that things are different. People can easily censor what people read by posting them such that they are viewable by only some of their friends, or only their family, or so that everyone but their neighbor's dog walker can read them. This is fine, and I don't judge anyone for making that choice. However, I do feel like it's a cop out. If I am going to go through the trouble of putting something on the internet, it is going to be on the internet. That is sort of the point. Otherwise, I would send an e-mail or a holiday letter or text or phone call. (Okay, anyone who knows me, knows I wouldn't actually use the telephone, but it's an example of what a normal person who isn't me would do.)

I guess all this was weighing on my mind because I had a million strange thoughts going through my head in the wee hours. My OCD was going a little crazy, I was exhausted, and frustrated with some things. I debated if I should just come here and unload. Then upon further thought, I decided that may not be the best course of action. So I let it stew. What do you all think? Those of you that read blogs, why do you do it? If you write a blog, what is your level of censorship? Discuss.

Note: MimiSmartypants is someone who is real, and who is pretty open in her blog. She didn't tell her parents about it until her book was being published, so she was still censoring herself to some degree. Anyhow, I would like to be able to be even that open. Much less all the way open.

Posted by raven at 09:50 PM | Comments (0)

March 18, 2007

i've got a hunger only tacos can stop.

Eek!! That pretty much sums it up right now. So much on my mind, so much to do. I've been on a manic swing which I wish made me more productive, however, instead it is making my mind jump all over the place. I have two weeks to get a whole lot accomplished, so I really need to focus!

Yesterday was mostly a goof off day. It was good old Saint Patrick's day, which I ordinarily don't celebrate outside some wearing of the green. However, my dear friend Toni talked me into going out bright and early. We met up with her at McGovern's at 11 o'clock. It's frightening how many people were out and bright eyed and bushy tailed and drunk at that hour. I was pretty decked out. I had picked up some little hot shorts that were black with green ribbons laced up on either side. I know I'm chunky, but I still went for it. I wore my green Robin tights with black fishnets over them, my black super tall boots, a black tee with a rhinestone shamrock on it and two shades of green eye makeup. It was pretty cute. G wore my Guinness tee-shirt. We hung around for a bit, then I went off to rehearsal.

Rehearsal was interesting. I'm happy with where I'm at for the second half of the play. Feeling it and what not. However, the first half I am totally struggling. This character is toying with me!! She's a strange woman. I know I will find what I need within me, but I hate going through this awkwardness. It's feeling really false right now, so I need to work extra hard to get past it. We also had a production meeting after, so there was a table full of the the theater company's board members/crew. It was good to get an audience, and I tried to think about how my blocking was reading. I may have overcompensated, but it's what rehearsal is for! The production meeting was good. It was fun to be a part of it, and see what was going on. After rehearsal, I had G take me to Penney's to see if I could find costume stuff. After much wandering around and measuring, I walked out with a bunch of good potential pieces. I felt some serious relief, since it seems like there is not much out there that goes with the picture I have in my head. Tomorrow I will have the ladies try on their things, and we shall see where we are at. Cross your fingers with me that these things work! Then I just need to accessorize them. I'm having them bring a few things to see if they will work. I'm thinking I may make the jewelry pieces I need, unless something awesome and inexpensive pops up. Oh, and I did get a sweater for my character on e-bay that is pretty cool. Well, cool for the character, I don't know if it's so much me. I need to find an appropriate skirt to go with it still, but I am confident something exists out there.

After my exciting shopping trip, we chatted with our lovely friend, the man of many names, and met up with him at the Chatterbox for some drinks and lunch...er...dinner. It was fun. I have to say, I'm glad we've become friends. He's a pretty cool guy. Who knew I would make a good friend from going dancing nearly every Saturday night? We hung out for a good while, and parted ways for a bit so he could get amped for the rest of the evening, and we could meet up with friends in Minneapolis. There were more drinks, a bar change, and some interesting peeps. We eventually made our way to our final destination, Ground Zero. I had a pretty fun time, drinking and chatting and meeting new people. We met up with our lovely friend again, along with a friend who we hadn't seen for some time, at least until he accompanied us to 300 the other night. We stayed until we were booted out at the end of the night, and made our way to the Uptown Diner, where I drank some hot water, ate a bit of a caramel roll and fell asleep on my friend's shoulder (sorry man, hope I didn't drool on you). When we arrived home, I crawled right into bed, fully clothed outside of my shoes.

Today I felt like poo, but not in a hangover way. My throat is sore, and I kept going back and forth with freezing and burning up all day. That was not fun.

Oh, and I found out this week that the bestest band evar is headlining the Virgin Festival in Toronto. Can we say ROAD TRIP!!!! The tickets presale Tuesday, and I must get some! I think I will request this to be my 25th birthday present this year! The concert will be before the big birthday, but it would certainly be an amazing present. *sigh* Billy Corgan. I have not seen him live in years. Too many years. I also cannot for the rest of the NA tour to be announced...I would like to see a few shows. In my youth I wanted to be a Pumpkinhead and follow them for a tour and see all the shows. I am seriously considering such an endeavor, though it hardly seems practical now. Especially since there are two other tours coming that I also would like to see: NIN and Tori Amos. I don't know that I would follow them around, but that is still at least two more shows to add to the list and the budget.

Oh Billy.

Posted by raven at 10:35 PM | Comments (0)

March 17, 2007

this is hilarious...

Craigslist fun.

Posted by raven at 06:03 PM | Comments (0)

March 12, 2007

my plate is officially full....

...which may have something to do with the strange sounds coming from my tummy.

So, yeah, where was I?

Australia.

No really....this is what my mind is reduced to. I can't complete a coherent thought at the moment. I think I need to sit down and make a list, yet, I feel like that would waste precious time that would be better served elsewhere.

anyhow, you kids probably have noticed that I'm in a show. when I am adequately convinced I don't suck, I shall give the world the deets. Last week, I was asked to costume said show. I accepted the position. I haven't costumed in a long while, so it should be fun. The only downside, is that I much more enjoy playing with clothes than say, remodeling.

Which brings me to the other portion of my plate. The kitchen. It is still going a bit slower than I would like. However, we officially have a deadline now. I invited my family to come out and stay with us for Easter. Due to the show, I can't go to them, so I thought it would be fun to have them come to us. They accepted, and now we must have the kitchen done, and the house clean and beautiful for guests by Good Friday. This is fine, because left to our own deadline-free devices, we would otherwise be lucky to have the darn thing done by my birthday.

Hey, at least I cleared the second job from my plate!

I have also managed to find some time for fun. We saw 300 over the weekend, and I promise to give you a review of it later. For now I shall tell you, It was awesome. We also made it out dancing on Saturday. We even went out for late night snacks afterward, and stayed up until the wee hours. Hurrah!!

To close, I will point out that I have realized that while a lot of shitty people may cross my path, I am blessed by all the awesome people who choose to stick around for the journey.

And now, I must paint.

Posted by raven at 03:49 PM | Comments (0)

March 02, 2007

let's get rambling....

So, I just got my car moved for our snow emergency. Luckily a nice neighbor who was out shoveling his walk dug me out when I got stuck. G took the shovel with him this morning. M'thinks we need to get a couple of trunk shovels, so we're prepared. My guess is we'll get those right around the time we're ready to move to LA.

In happy news, I had my last day of two jobs on Wednesday. Hurrah! The owner of my now former part-time gig took the two of us that were working out for happy hour after the shop was closed. I was really craving a mojito, but they could not provide one. Boo. I guess no Mojito is better than a bad Mojito. I settled for a glass of shiraz instead. The old boss also gave me a present. It's a Mystery coin bank. It's a black box, and you put your coin in the slot, and a tiny had reaches up and grabs it. I did not know what to say when I opened it. I can honestly say it was the last thing I expected. From there I skedaddled to the FT job. I was hoping to meet friends for drinks, but everyone bailed on me. So, it was me and a couple of coworkers. Then another friend called, and insisted I meet her and her boyfriend at another karaoke bar, which I did. Not quite the last day celebrating I had in mind, but there you go.

What am I going to do with all my free time? A show. I start rehearsals on Monday. I shall be playing the woman who lives in Minnetonka with her husband and two kids who volunteers and scrapbooks. I think that is worth coming to see the show right there. It will give me less time to work on the kitchen, but it is a new script, and a theatre I've never worked with before. I am honored to have been cast, and am sure I will have a blast. G, I'm sure will be thrilled to get to run lines with me until the end of the run.

We had been planning to spend Easter with my family, but due to the show, that has been nixed. I spoke to my sister on the phone last night, and invited the family out here instead. I know it would make for crazy times, but I think it would be an absolute blast to have them all out here. It would also give us a deadline to have the kitchen done and the house clean. Not to mention, I can make a mean holiday meal. Which my family has never witnessed.

Funny story...I was talking to my sis, and she mentioned the bridal shower invitation we got for a relative. She described the invite, and said that it said "Mis quince anos" at the top. She thought that it seemed strange. I told her I was pretty sure it was a quinceanera invitation. I then went to babelfish to confirm. When I typed in the phrase, and requested translation, it told me that it translated to "my fifteen anuses." I was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my cheeks, and I could barely relay the translation to my sister. I told her I was pretty sure that was a bad translation, but I was still sure it was a quinceanera invitation. Now, color me judgmental, but let's say you're an adult. You see an invitation in the store, and do not speak the language it is in...would you just send them out anyway? I wouldn't, but then I'm certifiable. They wrote at the top of the invite, in quotes, "bridal shower," so do you think they assumed that's what the translation was? Were they quoting another invitation? Were they attempting sarcasm? Is it a joke? A bizarre inside joke? Were they leftover from the host's quinceanera? Were they on clearance? It's a mystery that should be solved.

And on that note, I'm going back to reading Harry Potter. I thought I would reread all the books in preparation for the upcoming fifth film release, and the upcoming seventh book release. I'm on book five, so I think I will make it through. However, the more I read, the less sure I am that Harry will survive. What I do think, however, is that Dumbledore is a Phoenix (so many reasons for me to say this...but I had all but forgotten his dealings with Nicolas Flamel...yet another clincher for me), and that through Priori Incantatem, Harry will see the loved ones he has lost....hence the Deathly Hallows. Wow, I am such a geek.

Posted by raven at 08:59 AM | Comments (0)