March 27, 2011

funny story

I am trying to get back on a regular blog schedule, I promise! Yet, somehow, last Sunday got away from me. It takes some time to (re)build a habit. I have a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head, but thought that I would give you some insight into my past. Some insight into the journey that brought me to where I am. I think this will make so many things clearer.

Picture it: 1984 or 1985

I would be more specific, but I was in the first grade at this point. It was not winter, so it was either Autumn of '84 or Spring of '85. This was around the time my hair was still roughly the color and texture of an orangutan's. I am lucky that I remember any of this time, as I really should have expunged this era of my youth. You are lucky I didn't because you get to hear this story.

In these days, we had three fifteen minute recesses. One in the morning, around ten, one after lunch (which was lumped into the lunch period, so the faster you shoveled down your lunch, the more recess time you got. I am realizing suddenly why my stomach is such a hot mess these days.), and one in the afternoon, around two. Huh. This is sounding a lot like my current work schedule. Maybe I need to squeeze some jungle gym time in there, assuming I can find a jungle gym in the immediate proximity.

I digress. In those days, we needed all the recess we could get. Six and seven year olds get restless easily, and are chock full of potential energy. In fact, I am pretty sure the energy crisis would be solved if we could harness the energy on playgrounds across the country. Cars, computers, televisions could all be powered by grade school kids with some to spare. This energy needed to be expended outside of the classroom, lest the school become rubble from trapping it.

During one such recess, I had a, shall we say, falling out with two of my friends. For the purposes of this story, we will call them Lacey and Ted. I wanted to play with Lacey, and she wanted to play with Ted. For fourteen minutes, I begged Lacey to play with me. She refused. By the time the warning bell signaled that we should queue up to go back to class, little Raven of the orangutan hair had enough. I was a mere few feet behind Lacey and Ted as we walked toward the brick building. I picked up a rock from the dusty ground, only small enough for my wee hand to just barely grip it. "You guys are ASSHOLES," I shouted. That got their attention. The pair turned to look at me. I launched the rock, which connected with Lacey's temple.

In that moment, I realized I'd really screwed up. I hadn't intended for my projectile to seriously hurt anyone, I just wanted them to know how angry I was. As Ted announced he was telling, I started to regret some life choices I made that day. Particularly since my mother was the school librarian. There would be no respite from her assured fury until she could drive to the school, or until I got off the bus in the afternoon. I would have only the walk down the hall to the office. I began to apologize profusely. I begged them not to tell anyone. I offered bribes in the form of "Property of Raven" stickers (because who doesn't want stickers emblazoned with someone else's name??). As more of our classmates joined Lacey and Ted, it became very clear that I was in serious trouble. "You could have killed her'" admonished a fellow seven-year-old.

We filed into the building. Lacey continued down the hall past our classroom to the office. I headed to my desk, silently praying. It was for naught, as I had barely sat in my chair when our teacher called my name. She questioned me in front of the class, running down the list of my offenses. I confirmed that I swore, threw the rock, and tried to keep it quiet. I was sent to the office. Sure enough, when I walked in, my mother was standing there. I didn't even get to the secretary's desk, much less the principal's office within. Her arms crossed she said, "What did you do?" Her tone was very low and even. The volume that is reserved for only the worst offenses. My head bowed, I could barely lift my eyes to look at her. She gave me a lecture, and led me into the portion of the office reserved for ill children. Had we a nurse, it would have been the nurses office. However, in a small town, the secretary typically gets to fulfill these duties as well. Lacey was sitting in a chair, ice pack to her head. It was confirmed that she would be okay, but the secretary made the possible outcomes very clear. I apologized, and Lacey forgave me.

We walked back to class, holding hands.

If only all disputes could be solved with the simplicity of a seven-year-olds'.

Posted by raven at 09:53 PM | Comments (0)

March 13, 2011

vacation all i ever wanted

So, here I sit at the computer trying to procrastinate away the coming Monday. I have a hard time tucking myself in at night normally. However, Sunday nights are exponentially more difficult for me. It's as though not going to bed will keep the evil Monday at bay and I can continue my blessed weekend. Alas, this has yet to work. Instead I must face Monday sleep deprived and push through until Friday afternoon rolls around to greet me. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Tonight is even worse. Instead of bidding adieu to just the weekend, I am kissing my week of vacation good bye. Work has been exhausting of late, and with all of our family living out of state our vacations are usually used to visit them and share their special events. So, I used some of the (amply) provided PTO from my employer. I armed myself with a long list of things to get done and places to go. Alas and alack, there are only 24 hours in a day and I feel I came up woefully short. So, I shall focus instead on what was accomplished! I am going to borrow Pickle Juice's (where have you gone??) bullet list, patent pending.

  • Getting super dressed up and going to a play and after-party

  • My semi-annual dentist visit (including getting fitted for my night guard!)

  • A neurologist appointment (the verdict being that I have a structural problem preventing my neck from healing and a referral to a physical therapist.)

  • Going to karaoke (on a school night), going to another bar after, and finally hitting Mickey's for some greasy early morning vittles.

  • A chiropractic adjustment
  • Patching and painting all the wee nail and screw holes in our walls-which I have been putting off for ages. Not so glamorous, that task.

  • Spring cleaning our bedroom. (I have to be honest, there are a couple of loose-ends there, but we can wrap up this week for sure!) This was a bigger task than I anticipated. Moving furniture, culling our possessions. How did we wind up with so much stuff already???? I thought about selling some things, but I think Goodwill will just have to do.

  • Grocery shopping

  • Audition to be Purina's Cat Chow Correspondent! (I will take any and all prayers, happy thoughts, crossed fingers, etc. These can be applied to G and I!) It went well...since I am a crazy cat lady. It is a national search, though, so competition is FIERCE.

  • CON meetings, our department, division, and CONcomm. I think we may just get this thing together.

  • Haircut and color. My hair was getting shaggy and I was antsy to right the situation. My hair was extraordinarily well behaved that day, and I was tempted to just leave it alone. However, I got the color refreshed and lots chopped off. So much better. I think I will get even more chopped off next time!

  • Movie time! We saw The Adjustment Bureau and enjoyed it immensely. We had free passes, and coupons for our snacks, so it was an affordable evening out. I highly recommend the flick. It's a sci-fi love story, and totally reminded me of Dark City. Plus, Matt Damon is just so endearing in it! You can help but root for him.

  • Household budget. Again, not totally done because I am trying to be super thorough. It was definitely shocking to see how much money we shell out for things. I could see some places where reigning it in will be easy, but I have a feeling that won't be enough to get our finances where they need to be. Sigh.

  • Sleep. There was a lot of time dedicated to rest. Maybe too much, but that is what vacations are for.

Not part of the list are all the boring things like errands, and how I learned how to put together a bulleted list in HTML. All by myself! Okay, Google helped. I realize now that I am running out of things to do on the computer to keep me from having to go to bed...and work. Darn.

Posted by raven at 11:05 PM | Comments (0)

March 06, 2011


So, most who know me know that I have a fondness for ravens. The fact that I also have a fondness for Edgar Allan Poe is purely coincidental, but lines up rather nicely. Mainly, ravens make me happy. I find them to be comforting and lucky. Should I see a murder of ravens, I take it as a sign that all is well. Historically, ravens have been seen as creators, destroyers, and tricksters.

A friend recently pointed me to this article. Reading it made it even more clear as to why I find ravens kindred spirits. Like those lovely birds, I have a long memory. Do me wrong, I won't forget. As I said to a friend once, "I rarely forgive, and I never forget." I am fully aware that this goes against all the new-agey, Oprah-approved, forgiveness is divine advice out there. I've tried to forgive and let go, but I really am not wired to do such. Rather, I hope (mostly for my sake) that I don't run into said offender, lest all hell break loose. Wrong a friend, and I will do the same. So, the experts might find my behavior unhealthy, but it sure seems to work for the mighty raven! So this combination of a long memory, and ability to bear a grudge are part of my affinity to the raven. As they night say on an infomercial, "Wait! There's more!"

Like the extraordinary raven, planning is my forte. In fact, my boss said as much to me only a couple of days ago. I can plan like a mo-fo. Further, I can look at a situation or problem and find many solutions. I can Frankenstein together what is at hand to make things happen. If I had feathers, I would surely preen them.

In short, I think I should update my resume this week to list "corvine" under my special skills.

Posted by raven at 08:26 PM | Comments (0)